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5 steps to surviving temper tantrums!


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I’ve been in your shoes with frustration and confusion. It is horrible place to be. Small children are very sensitive. They need lots of cuddle time, play, and kisses from mommy. Little children don’t do things to make us mad. They just don’t have any other way of expressing their emotions.

When one of my children is doing something that I don’t find enjoyable, like throwing a temper tantrum I ask myself these 5 questions.

1. Has he/she had enough sleep?

2. Has he/she experienced something physically or emotionally painful of which I am unaware?

3. Is he/she hungry or lacking the proper nutrition for today?

4. Has he/she not been outside, or not able to power out the constant flow of energy?

5: Have I looked him/her in the eyes today and really listened/communicated to/with him/her?

 

I try to meet these needs before taking any other action. If all is fine and the behavior is coming because I said ”no” to something he/she really wants, then I do the following 5 things

1. I state the reason for the no.

2. I remind myself that a ‘no’ is a hurt to the soul, my child feels it deep within his/her bones.

3. I acknowledge his/her feelings with a statement such as. ”You really want that candy right now don’t you? Are you sad that I said no? (Or) Are you angry that I said no?

The smaller the child, the smaller the sentence… to a two year old, ”You’re mad. I know.”

4. I remind myself, that staying clam is the best way to go.

5. I remind myself, that allowing my child to experience the hurt of a ‘no’ and living through it will help him/her become a stronger person. Stronger because he/she will have learned that

a. ‘no’ is not the end of the world.

b. mommy can handle my emotions, she loves me even when I scream and yell.

c. by not punishing emotions, my child learns that it is ok to express emotions.

d. with time, temper tantrums will happen less if my child learns to express his/her emotions through words.

 

Then it becomes a matter of helping choose the right words, and not just name-calling when he/she is sad. The work doesn’t get harder or bigger it is just gets different as the children gets older.

So, hang in there. You’re doing great.IMG_2361

Love, Rebekah Butterfly

…Let’s get Naturally Happy Together

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Parenting is a Journey of ‘Love’


IMG_3939I take what I can from parenting books, but don’t let theory get me down. I know what is best for my children, but that doesn’t mean I never consider another parents point of view. I love to hear how other parents raise their children, which is why I am sharing my parenting style with you.

 

Every parent has a different parenting ‘style’ because every parent, child, family and life situation is different. ‘There is no perfect’ way. Figuring out what works for me, my children, family, and situation is an ever changing journey. Sometimes it is hard and sometimes I smile inwardly at how smooth everything is flowing.

 

I will never say that my way is the best way for you. It is best for me and my family in our situation.

 

Children grow, life and death happen, taste and points a view change. We learn with every expiriance, we change as we grow, we read, we make mistakes, we are humans.

 

I do not define myself as only mother.

 

I am a mother for three little people in this world and one inside of me. I am wife for one person, my husband. I am daughter to two parents and two step-parents. I am sister to four siblings, a sister and 3 step-bothers. I am cousin, niece and granddaughter to a handful of family members. I am a friend to many and an aquaintance to many more people.

 

But I am much more…

 

I am a writer when I write, a painter, a decorater, a cleaning lady, a reader, a singer, a teacher, a dancer, a cook, a swimmer, a drawer, a patient, a nurse, a researcher, a photographer, a philosopher, a thinker, a protester, a problem solver, an organizer, a perfectionist trying not to be one, a hair dresser, a masseuse, a native and a foreigner.

 

But this does not define my soul…I am Love

 

All of the things that I mentioned above can change in an instant. If people pass away then I cannot define myself in relation to them any longer. If I get sick and am restricted then I can no longer define myself by the things that I do. If I die, how will I be remembered and what part of me continues into the afterlife… Only how much I loved.

 

So love is the key to my being. And it is therefore the source of all my action. And consequently my parenting.

 

Was it always this way? No. I didn’t understand the meaning of love. I didn’t understand that we all are love, every single person on this earth. Now that I do it has changed the way that see myself and evidently the way that I see others. I love every person. I am united to all people through the love that we are. We were born of the Creator who is love in its purest form.

 

Once I began to truly love myself, loving others became natural. How can I decide who is worthy of love? Aren’t we all siblings? Who am I to say who is worthy and who is not? We are all worthy. If there was a criteria to the worthiness of love then we would all fail because we are all human. But there is no criteria. We are love. Whether we know it or not we are brothers and sisters, born of Love into love and return as love.

 

That being said, you now know the bases of my parenting and what to expect in this blog.

 

  1. Parenting is a journey that never ends.
  2. There is no perfect parenting.
  3. The most important thing I tell my children is ‘’I love you!’’
  4. The most important thing I give my children is ‘’my time’’. It is not the quantity rather the quality that counts.
  5. The most important thing I show my children is that I love myself. So that they can learn by example to love themselves.

Our most important rules

  1. Use your hand and feet for good. (No hitting, kicking ect.)
  2. Use your words wisely. Speak positively about others. (No name calling)
  3. All emotions are accepted. (not all actions)
  4. Speak softly with one another.  (no yelling)
  5. Listen

Now I invite you to share: What drives your parenting? What are the most inportant rules in your family?

And of course I always love reading and replying to your comments. Thank your for spending this time with me. Rebekah Butterfly

Let’s get naturaly happy together!

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Introducing Rebekah Butterfly!


Hello my friends,

This is your Beka Butterfly logging in for her first Blog Post ever on Naturally Happy Together. What is this Blog all about? And just who is this Rebekah Butterfly?

I am a young mother of 3 children who lives in Germany. An immigrant who moved here from the United States of America at the age of 19. I’m a stay-at-home mom, giving everything for the natural happiness of my children, myself and my family. I’ve managed to create my dream life and want to motivate anyone who wants to do the same. The world needs more happy people doing what they love.

I’ll be sharing with you information on all aspects of Natural Happiness, Naturally Raising Children to be physically, mentally and spiritually strong, and coming together with Nature and friends to make the world a better place.

And finally I would like to invite you to leave a post below and look forward to hearing your comments.

Love your Rebekah Buttterfly

Let´’s get Naturally Happy Together!