Your friend just gave birth to baby number two… And you want to help!
Three do’s and 3 don’ts.
Here are 3 things not to do.
1. Say ”Ring me when you need help.”
– She will not know what she Needs.
– She will not want to admit needing help
– It is two vage a statement. She doesn’t know what you are willing to do.
2. Don’t offer to take the older kids out for a fun time. (this may be helpful when baby is 3 months old and not so new anymore)
– Unless you already do this regularly, it will not help.
– Older siblings want to be with mama and the new Baby
– Mama feels best when she knows for sure that all little ones are happy and safe.
– Read the older sibling(s) a book.
3. Don’t say, ”Wow, you must really have your hands full!”
– Yes, but pointing it out doesn’t help and you are not the first genius to mention this.
– It sounds like a reproof.
– Mom might feel like she is doing something wrong if she finds motherhood to be a blessing instead of the implied burden.
Now that you know what not to do, here are 3 things that will really be a big help.
1. Visit without warning
– Your friend will not have time to tidy up. Yay! She won’t be stressed.
– Tell her everything is fine the way it is and mean it.
(Her number one priority after birth is making sure that baby has milk. This is a tough job and often very painful, so house work gets rightfully put near the bottom of the list. This is a good thing. Mama wants to grow and bond with her new baby, don’t make her feel bad about this by giving tips on house managment. If you don’t like things being out of order, don’t visit.)
– Ask her how she is doing. Listen. Smile. Enjoy the time you have with her.
– Don’t be afraid of the baby. It is a little being that needs lots of love.
– You won’t wake a new born baby by being loud, but you might annoy the mother who needs rest.
2. Bring food for the whole Family.
– Make sure it is healthy.
– If you friend has already eaten, put it in the fridge. She will thank you silently tomorrow.
– Do not let her do anything for you. Do it yourself, unless you have to ask where things are, then it isn’t helpful to do it yourself. Just do without.
3. Help with whatever you see.
– laundry basket full with wet garments?… Say ”I love hanging up laundry. Would it be helpful for you, if I hung this up real fast?”
– dirty dishes in the sink?… Say ”I love washing the dishes. May I wash yours?” (Just don’t bother with questions about where they go. Let her put them up later.)
Now, if you want to be the Best Friend Ever…
Organize a group of individuals who are willing to make and deliver meals every day for the first week after birth and at least two times a week for the following 40 days.
I hope this helps you when wondering how to best help your friend. You are AWSOME! Yes, you! reading this post. Just wanting to help makes you WONDERFUL! If everyone was like you, this would be a great world. Thank you. On behalf of all the mothers to be…Thank you. AND a speial Thank You to all my friends… I love every one of you. You are a big help to me and my family. You are my family!
Let’s get Naturally Happy Together
Your Rebekah Butterfly