Your friend just gave birth to baby number two… And you want to help!

Three do’s and 3 don’ts. 

Here are 3 things not to do.

 1. Say ”Ring me when you need help.”

– She will not know what she Needs.

– She will not want to admit needing help

– It is two vage a statement. She doesn’t know what you are willing to do.

 2. Don’t offer to take the older kids out for a fun time. (this may be helpful when baby is 3 months old and not so new anymore)

– Unless you already do this regularly, it will not help.

– Older siblings want to be with mama and the new Baby

– Mama feels best when she knows for sure that all little ones are happy and safe.

– Read the older sibling(s) a book.


3. Don’t say, ”Wow, you must really have your hands full!”

– Yes, but pointing it out doesn’t help and you are not the first genius to mention this.

– It sounds like a reproof.

– Mom might feel like she is doing something wrong if she finds motherhood to be a blessing instead of the implied burden.

Now that you know what not to do, here are 3 things that will really be a big help.

 1. Visit without warning

– Your friend will not have time to tidy up. Yay! She won’t be stressed.

– Tell her everything is fine the way it is and mean it.

(Her number one priority after birth is making sure that baby has milk. This is a tough job and often very painful, so house work gets rightfully put near the bottom of the list. This is a good thing. Mama wants to grow and bond with her new baby, don’t make her feel bad about this by giving tips on house managment. If you don’t like things being out of order, don’t visit.)

Ask her how she is doing. Listen. Smile. Enjoy the time you have with her.

– Don’t be afraid of the baby. It is a little being that needs lots of love.

– You won’t wake a new born baby by being loud, but you might annoy the mother who needs rest. 

 2. Bring food for the whole Family.

– Make sure it is healthy.

– If you friend has already eaten, put it in the fridge. She will thank you silently tomorrow.

Do not let her do anything for you. Do it yourself, unless you have to ask where things are, then it isn’t helpful to do it yourself. Just do without.

 3. Help with whatever you see.

laundry basket full with wet garments?… Say ”I love hanging up laundry. Would it be helpful for you, if I hung this up real fast?”

– dirty dishes in the sink?… Say ”I love washing the dishes. May I wash yours?” (Just don’t bother with questions about where they go. Let her put them up later.)

Now, if you want to be the Best Friend Ever…

Organize a group of individuals who are willing to make and deliver meals every day for the first week after birth and at least two times a week for the following 40 days.

I hope this helps you when wondering how to best help your friend. You are AWSOME! Yes, you! reading this post. Just wanting to help makes you WONDERFUL! If everyone was like you, this would be a great world. Thank you. On behalf of all the mothers to be…Thank you. AND a speial Thank You to all my friends… I love every one of you. You are a big help to me and my family. You are my family!

Let’s get Naturally Happy Together

Your Rebekah Butterfly


What is the Quintessential Message?

Hello my friends,

Christmas has been celebrated all over the globe. And Christmas is the celebration of Jesus’ birth. Jesus grew up to be a leader and teacher. His quintessential message was love. But… What is Love?


I’m not going to make you guess. I’m just going to tell you.

You are love. I am Love. Every person was born as a bundle of love. A baby is love in it’s purest form.IMG_0607

This love is still our essential being, even now in adulthood, adolescence, seniority, or wherever you find yourself.

How does one tap into this Love?

It may seem so far away. Why? Because he/she is not in touch with him/herself. He/she is searching, searching in his/her job, food, or behavior. But these things are not who he/she is. These things are not in tune with the love that a person is.

The purpose of this knowledge is not to judge, or hurt or change anything. The purpose is to gain awareness. Through observation comes awareness of truths. So lets observe…

Thoughts manifest into spoken words.

Words manifest into actions.

Actions become habits.

Habits form our character.

Because our thoughts essentially drive us, we must become aware of the truths or lies in them through observing what kind of person we are when I believe our thoughts. Or vise versa what kind of person are you when you don’t believe certian thoughts. (Check out Byron Katie ”Loving what is”)IMG_1566

Thoughts are motivated from the influences we allow around us (and those we don’t allow around us but that still manage to penetrate our surroundings). Hundreds of thoughts can flow through our brain parallel to one another in just a matter of seconds. But not all thoughts are true, some are big fat lies. Some are uncomfortable truths that want to be acknowledged and few are actually true.

If you want to seperate true thoughts from false ones then take time with your thoughts in a quiet place. Allow all thoughts to flow. Some may be uncomfortable and you may want to push them away. Don’t. Ask yourself if these uncomfortable thoughts are true. If they are true then let yourself feel every emotion that comes with this awareness. These emotions are a part of you. They want to be acknowledged and loved. Love yourself.

Imagine sitting on this bench alone. Watch the sun go down on a warm summer night. See the water and what it reflects. Reflect on your thoughts. Where do they come from? Are they true? Do you believe them to be true? Let yourself feel all the emotions that come and be with yourself. Love yourself. By acknowledging your feelings and accepting yourself, you allow them to go off and make room for more emotions other emtions. They make room for life. Love what is. Love yourself.

”Love your neighbor as yourself.” -Jesus

He didn’t say love your neighbor not yourself or more than yourself. No, Love your nieghbor as yourself. Love yourself. You are love. Love the truth. Love your emotion. By doing so you will naturally love others.

”These three things remain; faith, hope and love. The greatest of these is Love.” – Bible

The greatest is love because it is the only thing we have after death. We need faith here on earth. We need faith because we can’t see our creator and we can’t see where we go after death.

We need hope here on earth. Hope that there is a better place. Hope that our faith has a purpose. Once we pass out of this earth, we no longer need faith and hope. We will know…who our creator is and where we go after death.

But Love… Love is something we can have now and after death. Love grows and is the only thing that accompanies us into death. Our body deteriorates but our love remains.

Why? Because we are love. Each person is born as a bundle of love. And we die as love. Somewhere in between birth and death, this love seems to be confusing. It’s not. Love just is.

”I am”- God

Jesus is. God is refered to as the ”Great I am.” Love is. It is what it is. Loving what is can be simplified to just… Love.

We are made in the likeness of God. I am. I am what? Love. Just as God is Love.

So the quintessential message is love. And what is Love? You are love.

So let us tap into the love that we are and become naturally happy together.

Love Rebekah Butterfly