Your friend just gave birth to baby number two… And you want to help!

Three do’s and 3 don’ts. 

Here are 3 things not to do.

 1. Say ”Ring me when you need help.”

– She will not know what she Needs.

– She will not want to admit needing help

– It is two vage a statement. She doesn’t know what you are willing to do.

 2. Don’t offer to take the older kids out for a fun time. (this may be helpful when baby is 3 months old and not so new anymore)

– Unless you already do this regularly, it will not help.

– Older siblings want to be with mama and the new Baby

– Mama feels best when she knows for sure that all little ones are happy and safe.

– Read the older sibling(s) a book.


3. Don’t say, ”Wow, you must really have your hands full!”

– Yes, but pointing it out doesn’t help and you are not the first genius to mention this.

– It sounds like a reproof.

– Mom might feel like she is doing something wrong if she finds motherhood to be a blessing instead of the implied burden.

Now that you know what not to do, here are 3 things that will really be a big help.

 1. Visit without warning

– Your friend will not have time to tidy up. Yay! She won’t be stressed.

– Tell her everything is fine the way it is and mean it.

(Her number one priority after birth is making sure that baby has milk. This is a tough job and often very painful, so house work gets rightfully put near the bottom of the list. This is a good thing. Mama wants to grow and bond with her new baby, don’t make her feel bad about this by giving tips on house managment. If you don’t like things being out of order, don’t visit.)

Ask her how she is doing. Listen. Smile. Enjoy the time you have with her.

– Don’t be afraid of the baby. It is a little being that needs lots of love.

– You won’t wake a new born baby by being loud, but you might annoy the mother who needs rest. 

 2. Bring food for the whole Family.

– Make sure it is healthy.

– If you friend has already eaten, put it in the fridge. She will thank you silently tomorrow.

Do not let her do anything for you. Do it yourself, unless you have to ask where things are, then it isn’t helpful to do it yourself. Just do without.

 3. Help with whatever you see.

laundry basket full with wet garments?… Say ”I love hanging up laundry. Would it be helpful for you, if I hung this up real fast?”

– dirty dishes in the sink?… Say ”I love washing the dishes. May I wash yours?” (Just don’t bother with questions about where they go. Let her put them up later.)

Now, if you want to be the Best Friend Ever…

Organize a group of individuals who are willing to make and deliver meals every day for the first week after birth and at least two times a week for the following 40 days.

I hope this helps you when wondering how to best help your friend. You are AWSOME! Yes, you! reading this post. Just wanting to help makes you WONDERFUL! If everyone was like you, this would be a great world. Thank you. On behalf of all the mothers to be…Thank you. AND a speial Thank You to all my friends… I love every one of you. You are a big help to me and my family. You are my family!

Let’s get Naturally Happy Together

Your Rebekah Butterfly


Top 10 reasons to STOP worrying and LOVE it when your child gets DIRTY.

IMG_4818 IMG_4845 IMG_4847 IMG_4834

In no particular order…

  1. He/she is having fun!
  2. He/she is learning to use his/her imagination.
  3. Clothes can be washed!
  4. He/she gets to take a bubble bath when finished playing!
  5. It gives you a good excuse (that even a small child can understand) to cut trim fingernails.
  6. It improves motor skills
  7. You’ll be the coolest mom/dad on the block.
  8. It gives you an excuse not to dress your little ones in designer cloths.
  9. It brings him/her closer to nature!
  10. He/she won’t grow up to associate ‘dirt’ with ‘poor’



Bare at the Bottom

ImageI enjoy all types of weather. This day on the beach was very windy. You can see me holding my hat in place.

Some of my best moments were on unexpected “bad weather” days.  Like the time it actually hailed in Germany. Those were big suckers, 5cm. Some people reported cracked windshields and dints on the roof. We were lucky not to have had any such problems. We went outside directly after the hailing stopped. Our boys had lots of fun collecting the ice balls and seeing who could find the biggest one.


And yes, I was barefoot as always. If I don’t have to wear shoes, then you won’t find them on my feet. I play outside barefoot with my children and most of the time with the neighborhood children in all types of weather. I do garden work barefoot. Being barefoot keeps me in touch with the earth and nature, not to mention it’s healthy. I am much more aware of the different plants and animals with which we share the earth.

If you want to be reconnected with Nature, try going barefoot.

I would love to hear about your barefoot experience, whether you are a barefoot profi like me or just going bare at the bottom for the first time.

Please leave a comment. I look forward to reading and replying. Thank you so much for sharing a bit of your time with me.

Love Rebekah Butterfly

Let’s Get Naturally Happy Together